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To enjoy what you do, don’t set expectations!

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I’m entering my 6th week. No, I am not here to tell you that I am expecting a baby; yet if I were to follow the expectations, I could easily be panicking. But I am not there. Yet.

Six weeks ago I was all shaken up, fighting with my inner demons and ready to collapse under the heaviest weight in life: decision-making.

As years pass, and now that I am 30, aka officially adult (and yes, we can talk about this), I learned that knowing, and declaring that I am good at something, doesn’t make me a bitch. And vice versa. Not being so good at (because you are never absolutely inept) something doesn’t make me a failure. So here I am admitting that I am pretty awesome at generating ideas, but I pretty much suck at taking decisions when it is about me.

But then again, just because I am not good at it, I can’t just avoid it; I keep on trying…(as we all shall). So, 6 weeks ago I was yet again at another junction in my life. There was option #1 to stay and keep on working as an aspiring freelancer with all its pleasures and ugliness, or #2 to accept a 9 to 5 employment contract with all its safety and risks. I am happy we didn’t meet in person during my decision-making week. If we have met, I am sorry that I was…a ghost.

Today, entering finishing my 5th week of a 9 to 5 job contract, I can tell you: to enjoy no-matter-what, you need to let go off all expectations no matter what! Think about a situation when you were unable or hesitant to decide.

Ready?

Now, remember what caused your dilemma: was it fear? Was it uncertainty? Was, is the lack of information? Was it the contradicting advice from everyone, including you inner you? (Or as it so often is: was it all of the above?) But no matter what you pick from this list, it all goes back to one human habit, and that is to have expectations. And set them high enough to predestine yourself to some sort of sweet suffering. You expect something, and you fear it won’t be like that. You expect a piece of advice only to get the other one.

As I was dressing up (yeah, no more full-time PJ days) for my first day, I suddenly realized that I felt something new; I was expectations-less. And with that came joy, and confidence, and eagerness.

Joy – that I will enjoy; Confidence – that I will make it; Eagerness – to learn and experience.

Next week is my 6th week at my new office, and I keep on being expectation-less and I keep on enjoying what I do!

So here are my 2 cents for the next time you face a decision: take a deep breath and say adieu to your expectations – of course, it doesn’t mean not to set goals…but about this, some other time.

 

Virag
Virág Gulyás is the founder of MissCareer/Less, a startup dedicated to women who embrace change, and works as a freelance creative project manager. As a former ballet dancer, she faced the challenges of what it means to change a career and start a new life in a culture where success is defined in linear terms. She believes that raw, honest storytelling is the new generation of women empowerment. Virág is an author, speaker and develops workshops to empower women and young (un)employed people.
http://viraggulyas.com

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